Chauvinism ...

... is the virtue of the vicious.

It's queen's day. This means that the royal family once again gets a very skewed view of the dutch people because on their annual tour through some province they only get to meet farmers and mentally handicapped. Who play old games, whilst singing and hitting eachother with pillows. I have no idea how the royal family stays ' normal' .

I do know that Beatrix has trouble getting through half an hour without a roll-it-yourself cigarette so if you pay attention you might actually catch a few minutes where she's ... away.

At least: sources close to the palace say. Very close. Practically across the road, even.

Anyway, pride in the place where you're born is just as useful as chainsaw at a dinnerparty. Sure, you can use it to cut your meat but it isn't very civilised, discreet or subtle.


Quick ...

... note.

Today is my only day at work this week. I'm bored beyond belief and i pray for something stupid to do, like a nice evacuation due to a bombthreat or something. You know ... something to liven up the place.

Anyway ...

There's all sorts of weird things happening in the coming days, with the queen's day being prime amongst those, so we got a few days off. Something to do with working for the city or something. So, a few days off, which coincide with my lovey's holidays. We're investigating World Of Warcraft. Man, is it huge. I'd like to have THAT on disc, so as to avoid monthly fees and other players, but I realise that is not even remotely possible. Man it's LARGE. And fun. And ... expensive. That is the downside. We're thinking about it, anyway. It's fun, though.

Furthermore, I had hoped to publish a new T-shirt I have had made for myself here, right about now. But the truth is that the endresult sucks so much ass and looks so cheap and feels like it's made cheaply by small children in an underdeveloped country that I think I'll pass. However, all is not lost, eventhough this was a huge blow to my confidence (hohum). I'll just have to go looking for a better printer ...

Currently, Sid (one of the people here) is singing along to some rap thingy. However, he's not singing it out loud but he's singing along to his Ipod at a level just above hearing. rarely have I heard something so deeply annoying. It's like being threatened by someone with a throat infection. Just less funny.

Oh well ... beck to whatever it was I was doing. Which was nothing ...



... or something to that effect.

I am ... alone!

The whole place is empty. I'm supposed to be working, but the trouble is, of course that I don't really know what to do and there's no one here to tell me so ...

I have time to do this!


Last weekend I had a little job related outing. The loverly people at Maandag show us once a year how much they appreciate us and the money we rake in for the company by hiring off some big hall and stuffing 4000 of us in there along with some food and drink and some "musical" acts. They do know how to spend their cash. They got a bit of class so it's all pretty okay.

Anyway ... last friday, Heineken Music Hall, Blof. And it was fun. they're not really my thing but they did manage to coax a bit of a smile on my face so it's all good. Plus, my sis wanted to see them so I had to turn up anyway. She wouldn't get in otherwise (I have that much power, you know).

The weirdest thing though ... there was this awesome light/laser/fireworks show ... accompanied by hornblowers. Who were blowing pieces of Star Wars music. Now, I don't quite know what that is supposed to convey to the listeners ... we have the force? We have a Death Star? Our president has a breathing problem? You are our clones? The implications are baffling ...

Also. There was Gerrit. The Maandag dancer. A fellow, slightly ... rotund. Corpulent, if you will ... fat. Basically, slightly pudgy around the edges. In a suit. Doing electric boogie (rather well, actually, in as far as I'm a judge) ... but it was a weird moment. Of the evening. Of my life. The guy just danced for about 3 minutes. Just ... danced. Weird.

No explanation was given as to how or why this happened but it happened. And we have to carry on living in spite of it.

Afterwards there were the kind words of some fucker in a tie and, yes, public speaking is a torture.

And then Blôf and then home. All-in-all a good evening and I had loads of fun with my sis too. Which is good! I have however, offered my services to Maandag in selecting next year's band. So far ... no response. But I have high hopes ...


My ...

... girlfriend is feeling ill, I just received word that something I have been doing about 140 times probably has to be done again and, oh yeah, yesterday I helped crack someone's rib.

Lovely day. I need a drink.

So, like, yesterday, I had Mark in a transportation grip and he wanted to demonstrate that he could get out of it. In doing so, however, he used so much force (and my arm as wedge) that he cracked his own rib. Big scare, loads of pain ... and an amazing amount of laughter. He nearly choked on it. I really don't know how he is today, but seriously ... how good can you be wioth a cracked rib? Amazing thing to happen. Luckily enough, i really won't be teased all that much by people in my Jiu-Jitsiu class. they're so civilized I doubt I'll hear anything at all.


The news that I have to revisit something along the lines of 140 files that I have created over the last month was also something I did not need. they're useless files, no one wants 'em, but nevertheless, it is, apperantly necessary that a correct and extensive and as detailed as possible description is given to each file ... in stead of one that simply works.

What in the hell ass am I doing here anyway? I have too little time to do the creative stuff I like and too much time doing shitty ass assignments no one cares about in the end. *sigh*

I'm currently too emo. All I need now is a good little migraine to make my fucking day complete.

Also: my girlfriend is under the weather. Which makes me unhappy. I guess she'll be in the bath tonight. With Harry the DVD playa'. Gonna feed her steak. Strengthen her up a bit ...


New ...

... boss, when leaving, after having been infused with too much knowledge:

NB: I'm going home now, to think about all of this ... how do you call that, in your sleep, uhm ...
ME: A nightmare?
Daniel: Laugh
NB: No, that's not what I meant, a computer term, uhmmmm ...
ME: Garbage in, Garbage out?
Daniel: Laugh
NB: I see the gentlemen are not very serious anymore so I'll see you all tomorrow.
All: Bye, Bye.
Daniel: Laugh

I made my old boss, Daniel, laugh. Which was really amazing considering the shitty weekend he's had.

Anyway, new boss. We'll see.

What goes on in a chicken's mind? Yesterday Dennis decided to snuggle up to me on the armrest of the comnputerchair. Weird animal.


This ...

... is Dennis. The chicken.

I know. Unsuitable name. But there you go. Not everyone can be named after a Shakespeare character ...

See below for Dennis' story ...


So ...

... that was weekend.

Over a four day period of time I trained 8 hours, got a new chicken and got new shoes.

The chicken ... a neighbour kid rang our bell with a very apathic looking bird in a shoebox. Turns out that the animal was released where he keeps his pony because it won't lay eggs anymore and the owners were too squeemish to dispose of the animal and too poor, obviously, to take care of an animal. Or, you know, they didn't care. It was a member of a group of four released birds, three of which were already taken by the local fox and weasel population (nice ... foxes and weasels!) and number four arrived at our doorstep. Nice people as we are we took the sad little bird in thinking it would drop dead of shock. Fortunately, the thing took one sniff of the food presented to it and immediately started pecking at the bowl like a headbanger at a megadeth concert. When the bowl was empty it simply stuffed it's head under a wing and went to sleep. the next morning it sort of behaved totally normal, for a chicken, which is a wholly different and altogether strange type of normal, and it has been going strong ever since. The latest report was that it was walking free in the livingroom, shitting everywhere and generally being a nuisance. We like animals. Please give me more chickens like this. They are fun. Pure comedy gold ...

The new shoes. The old ones were ... well, stuck together with duct tape, to be honest, so it was time for a new pair. I usually wear these heavy duty mountaineering shoes, way, way, WAY to heavy for daily use (at least judging from the surprised and slightly horrified faces of the sales ladies) but there is something to be said for wearing your own, expensive, concrete shoes ... if the mob ever comes calling you can say that you brought your own. At least THAT way you can ensure comfort, even whilst at the bottom of a handy river.

They're also water-tight.

New shoes are great, though. I like a little resistance and nothing gives resistance like new shoes so tight they make it neigh impossible for anyone to walk normally. I'm audible again. Five kilos of leather and rubber on my feet. God, and there are still people who wonder where I get my truly wonderful calves and leg muscles. Seriously, it has been a project of 20 years but the results are stunning. I now have awesome legs. Be jealous.

Of course, those awesome legs have been encased in shoes which are ... at best ... not very fashion sensible. But then again, I hate fashion fascists. (Having said that I LURVVVV the Fashion Channel. they have this show, Models Talk, which is just a beautiful oxymoron, emphasis on moron.)

So, I'm currently able to climb mountains again. I'll do that as soon as one is discovered in Amsterdam (Amsterdam heeft het). For now though, I'll have to break them in walking to the central station. Subway services are patchy and suspended today seeing as somebody took it upon him to derail a metro using the time-honoured principle of not closing the rails. That would do the trick to be sure ... twats.


Yesterday ...

... I had a total hedonist day. After work of course. There's very little to be hedonistic about there, believe me ... anyway. I travel with a DVD player these days, so I get to relax in trains and watch old DS-9 episodes which is very cool, really. It's our new toy and I like it. Loads. My girlfriend was of with her family looking at people doing complicated things with bodies.

It was a musical. Dirrty Dancing. (Porn is still not a family affair ... you perverts.)

I was home alone (in the non-McAuly Culkin way, of course) and I treated myself to a nice dinner, a nice cigar and a nice bath all whilst watching DS-9. Life can be sweet. Shame my girl wasn't around really. But that was okay. I got the chance to plant 8 bouquets of roses around the room so, all in all, pure win for her too ...

So, yesterday was nice.

Today ... not so much. I'm kinda bored ... but I'll see Past Tense, part II when I go home so that helps, a bit.

Oh, and by the way:

Whan that Aprill, with his shoures soote
The droghte of March hath perced to the roote
And bathed every veyne in swich licour,
Of which vertu engendred is the flour;
Whan Zephirus eek with his sweete breeth
Inspired hath in every holt and heeth
The tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne
Hath in the Ram his halfe cours yronne,
And smale foweles maken melodye,
(That slepen al the nyght with open eye)
So priketh hem Nature in hir corages
Thanne longen folk to goon on pilgrimages
And palmeres for to seken straunge strondes
To ferne halwes, kowthe in sondry londes;
And specially from every shires ende
Of Engelond, to Caunterbury they wende,
The hooly blisful martir for to seke
That hem hath holpen, whan that they were seeke.

That time of the year again.